


Necessary Touch

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Cumshot, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-25
Updated: 2011-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-05 17:07:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyo's eyes slid closed as he raised his arms high in the air, his legs spread and his body rigid. The moments slipped past, the crowd below him screaming and thrashing as he simply stood there and waited. Slowly one arm slid down, his microphone clutched tightly in that hand, his eyes just barely opening into little slits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Necessary Touch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ihatecloud](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=ihatecloud).



> Prompt[s]: <http://fav.me/d1zgino> \- up to date appearances please. Requested intense angst on Kyo's part.  
> For [](http://ihatecloud.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://ihatecloud.livejournal.com/)**ihatecloud**  
>  Beta Readers: gothic_hime, kismekilmeluvme  
> Song[s]: " Fiend" by Coal Chamber

Kyo's eyes slid closed as he raised his arms high in the air, his legs spread and his body rigid. The moments slipped past, the crowd below him screaming and thrashing as he simply stood there and waited. Slowly one arm slid down, his microphone clutched tightly in that hand, his eyes just barely opening into little slits. He dropped to a crouch, his free hand grasping the crate below him as he let out a guttural growl into the microphone and then threw it down on the crate. Leaping off backwards, he turned on the ball of his foot the moment he landed and then stalked off stage, one hand pushing his sweat-filled black hair back.

Throwing himself against the wall, he waited, his eyes closed, for the agony to set in. It always did. That feeling of being so alone that he couldn't even stand it; the knowledge that with the world at his feet, he still had nothing to show for it in the one place that mattered. He sank down the wall, crouching there for a long moment before he heard footsteps. Cracking one eye, he peered up as Kaoru passed him and then Toshiya in a close second. Blessed silence came for another minute and a half before Die came past, pretty much a grinning, giggling mess. Now there was a man who was happy with his life... or at least in Kyo's opinion, he had to be. He smiled, he was happy... and he was already off stage.

He waited on that last figure to come past him, this time his eyes fully open and his attention completely on the hallway. When Shinya's footsteps met his ears, he pushed himself up to stand, warmth flooding him as he saw the other. They'd been friends for longer than any of the others and Shinya had always been there for him. It was something Kyo wouldn't ever forget and something he'd come to thrive off of. The only problem was he knew it wasn't the same for Shinya. He didn't need to rely on someone else and Kyo knew it.

All the same, Shinya slid one arm around Kyo's shoulders and guided him down the hallway toward the showers, knowing where Kyo would want to go first. Once they were in there, Kyo simply started to strip, having no qualms about it and just rushing through the task. Shinya pushed a bottle of shampoo into his hand and then Kyo was off into the large shower area, turning on one of the faucets and getting under the ice cold stream. Sighing, he reached to get some of the soap from the pump on the wall and started to wash down, putting the shampoo bottle on the floor at his feet.

Shinya joined him a few minutes later, using the faucet next to him. It was more of a habit than an on-purpose, something from eons ago when Kyo had felt so insecure that he'd not been able to defend himself against any sort of comments or actions from outside his group of friends. Shinya just sort of attached himself to Kyo's side whenever possible to try to keep all such comments at bay or at least keep Kyo in a reasonable mood these days.

But for Kyo, having Shinya so close recently had become a whole other problem. Most of his life he'd denied what he knew to be the truth, insisted he was attracted to women despite the fact that the thought of being with one intimately gave him the creeps. He'd pretended up to the point of paying people off to say they'd slept with him, claiming things like an inability to keep it up for longer than a few minutes. But he'd had to stop claiming that the moment that he'd realized how much being on stage seemed to turn him on. It was obvious he could keep it up for at least an hour and he knew his lies were becoming transparent. So he stopped even having someone to warm his bed, stopped letting them in even enough to just hold him and run their hands over his body. It wasn't so much the sex as the human contact that he was lacking, and it made him feel like he was worthless, lacking in so many ways no one wanted him.

And as of late... he'd come to realize that even the remote glimpse of a naked man had been getting him instantly riled up. Especially Shinya. Even with just his shirt off, he found that all he wanted to do was shove him against the nearest surface and have his way with him until he was satisfied. And that was a problem on many, many levels. First and foremost, this man was his friend and had been there for him through almost everything. But he was certain this would be the deal breaker. Secondly, it would tell the whole world that he honestly was attracted to men.

He'd watched Die struggle for years and still never even manage to accept himself. And Die was a million times stronger than he was, so that didn't bode well for him. Kyo turned away, getting his shampoo and squirting some into his hand, quickly going about washing his hair, his back to Shinya to hide the fact that just the glimpse of the other's naked body had him achingly hard.

He was washing the shampoo from his hair, his eyes closed when he heard another voice in the shower room, one of the men from the opening band and he immediately panicked. One hand grabbed the shower handle as he pretty much threw himself into the corner with a little panicked sound. A few moments passed and he heard the other shower shut off, footsteps pass him and a conversation was held that he couldn't pick up any of the words to. He jumped a little as a hand slid over his back and then gently tugged on his arm, helping him into a standing position. He sank back into the arms, against that skinny little frame and closed his eyes allowing himself to try to calm down.

"They're coming back in a few minutes. Finish up, okay?"

Kyo nodded a little and Shinya slid his arm around his middle, making sure he was steady on his feet before letting him go. Quickly, Kyo washed his hair out and then shut off the shower, snatching up the shampoo bottle and hurrying out to get the towel that Shinya handed over to him. He quickly dried his hair with it and then started to dry the rest of himself. One of the staff members had brought in his bag with his change of clothing and he quickly started pulling things on, gritting his teeth as he forced his dick into the jeans. It was an uncomfortable task to say the least.

When he looked up he saw Shinya watching him, the other already clothed and sitting on the bench, pretty much at eye-level with Kyo's midsection. "What?" he almost snapped out.

Shinya shrugged a little. "You realize you had time to uh... take care of that if you wanted, right?"

Kyo's face flushed and he jammed his dirty clothing in his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. Completely ignoring the question, he stalked out the door, Shinya hot on his heels. Outside the room stood the rest of the band and the two men from the opening band that hadn't showered yet. All of them headed in the moment that Kyo and Shinya were out the door, but Kyo paid them very little mind to start with. Why was it that he had to be noticed like that? Caught, so it was.

Once they were on the bus, Kyo flung his dirty clothes out and into the pile for Nora to take care of. He stalked off toward the bunks, but he didn't make it all the way there before Shinya had ahold of him, one arm around his middle and the other holding his bicep. "Calm down." The words pierced into Kyo's protective shell and he winced a bit, hanging his head in shame. "No," he bit out, the word coming out almost automatically.

Shinya sighed, pulling Kyo flush against him. "We're alone now. It's just me." His hand rubbed a little circle on Kyo's lower abdomen, something he usually only did when Kyo had a terrible stomach ache... and even at that, he'd stopped doing that years and years ago. Kyo shivered under the touch, his dick responding in a completely unacceptable way to the touch. He closed his eyes, trying to keep his breathing steady and will away his arousal.

"You're so strung up lately." Shinya's hand slid a little lower, fingertips brushing under the waistband of Kyo's boxer briefs, just barely brushing over his hair there. "You need relief." His fingers slid lower, coming to rest on the base of Kyo's dick, causing the vocalist to jerk in his arms in complete surprise.

Kyo's heart pounded in his chest, his eyes now wide open and his body trembling in surprise. He wasn't about to object. This was what he wanted. But the real question was how on earth Shinya knew. He squirmed a little as the hand disappeared and then both arms came around him, quickly unfastening his pants and pushing his underwear out of the way. Shinya's hot breath ghosted over his ear before a light kiss was pressed there. A few moments and then Shinya's big hand was wrapped around his dick, stroking him off. Kyo's hips arched toward the touch, one of his hands coming to grasp at Shinya's wrist, not hindering, just holding. The other went to hold onto the bunks in front of him, not wanting to fall over in the floor should his legs give out from the intensity of the pleasure.

"This is better... isn't it?" Shinya whispered to him, and Kyo simply let out a groan in response, unable to form any coherent words right then. His balls already felt like they were going to explode. His relief with himself was always so short lived these days that he was immediately horny again after getting off. So having a touch that wasn't his own was rather like giving him the world's best fuck. He shifted a little, spreading his legs to steady himself a little bit more, his head bowing to watch Shinya's hand on his dick. He didn't even care right then that this was giving away that he was obviously not straight. All he cared about was that strong hand stroking over his aching dick, those long fingers doing amazing things to him.

Shinya shifted behind him, his hips pushing against Kyo's ass. Kyo's heart skipped a beat as he felt how hard the other was and that was all it took to throw him over the edge. A sharp cry left his lips as he came, his offering spurting out over the black paneling of the bunks. He came until he felt like he was going to end up in the floor from the intensity of it. His legs gave out, but Shinya was there, his arms under Kyo's, holding him up and then slowly lowering them to the floor.

A little chuckle slipped from Shinya's lips. "It must have been forever for you to come that fast. Jesus, Kyo." He pressed a feather-light kiss to his ear again, his hand sliding over the other's abdomen, feeling over the muscles and then sliding down lower, grasping his dick again. Kyo was still hard, and the way his hips bucked made it clear he still wasn't satisfied. Lost in the moment, Kyo reached up, his hand sliding into Shinya's still damp hair and holding on as he turned his head to look up at him, desperation written all over him. "More," he hissed out.

Shinya chuckled softly and smirked. "Only if you return the favors I give you." Kyo instantly nodded and Shinya pushed open the curtain to his bunk, gesturing. "Strip and get in." He stood up and immediately started to remove his clothing. Kyo did the same, quickly moving to sit in the bunk, his legs spread and his gorgeous body on display for Shinya to enjoy if he wanted to.

A few moments passed and Shinya put his shirt in the floor, kneeling on it and leaning in to lick at the tip of Kyo's dick. He gave it a few tentative sucks and then grabbed his hips, yanking him closer and then went to town on him, his head bobbing quickly as he sucked with all he had. Kyo let out a strangled cry, desperately trying to keep his hips from bucking up into Shinya's mouth as his dick was pretty much devoured by the drummer. It was more than he'd ever imagined it would be, so intense he was sure he couldn't take it for long. There was nothing slow about this. It was the blowjob equivalent of a quick and furious fuck, and Kyo was thriving on it, everything in him on high alert. His nerve endings hummed with pleasure and his hands moved from place to place with a mind of their own. A steady stream of sounds left him as he almost thrashed in place over the whole thing. When he came it was a complete surprise to him, a scream ripping free from his throat as his hips snapped up, his dick disappearing completely into Shinya's mouth as he emptied his load.

The other took it without complaint, swallowing around him and waiting until Kyo collapsed down on the bedding before he stood up and held onto the edge of the bunk above them. "Your turn," he announced as if what had transpired hadn't at all. It was a few moments before Kyo could even move, but he slid forward and told hold of Shinya's hips, moving to kiss at the tip of his dick and then flicking his tongue over it before putting one hand around the base of it and starting to tentatively give him head. He'd never done it before and it took him a minute to orient himself enough to start a good rhythm and get enough saliva in his mouth to make it easy.

Shinya's hand came down and swatted Kyo's hand away, then going into his hair, pushing him down on his dick until he almost choked on it. "There, good boy. Suck it like I did yours." Kyo did his best to comply, pushing past the tears that welled up in his eyes due to almost choking on the other's rather significant dick. The minutes passed them by as he did his best, bobbing up and down on Shinya's dick. Eventually he couldn't take it anymore and he reached to grasp his newly hard dick, jerking off while he sucked the other off. It was then that he lost all of his inhibitions and really started to enjoy what he was doing, losing all the awkwardness of it. He sucked on each drawback and curled his tongue around Shinya's flesh on the way down.

Just when he was getting really into it, Shinya pulled away, freeing his dick from Kyo's now-eager mouth. He pulled his head back and muttered, "Close your eyes." Kyo did as he was told and a few seconds later, warmth splattered over his face at the same moment as Shinya let out a pleasured groan. The vocalist's hand moved faster on his own dick, the sound of him jerking off loud in the bus as Shinya wiped his dick off on Kyo's mouth. "Lick it." Kyo did exactly as he was told, even sucking at the head a little to get the rest of the cum.

A few moments passed before Shinya pulled back and then moved to push Kyo's hand away from his dick. "Don't. Your next one is going to be somewhere else." Kyo dared open his eyes finally and gave him a confused look as the other moved around the bus. When he came back, he was holding a condom, tossing away the foil packet as he knelt in front of Kyo and rolled it down his dick. "You're going to fuck me. That'll satisfy you the most... won't it?" He offered him a little smirk.

Kyo flushed again, but he didn't say a word, just reached to get the cum off his face, wiping it on the sheets. Shinya stood over him, reaching into the bunk above and pulling out a bottle of lube, drizzling some onto Kyo's dick and then some into his own fingers. He put one leg up on one side of Kyo, his hand sliding down and starting to probe at his hole. He let out a little groan as one finger slid inside, his dick jumping a little as he brushed over his prostate. "You're going to fuck me good, aren't you, Kyo? You're going to make me fucking jizz all over the damn sheets, aren't you?"

Kyo couldn't help but think how different Shinya was during sex. It was almost a complete about face from his usual self and it was somehow refreshing. "I am," he replied, his eyes glittering faintly in the dim light. "But right now, I'm going to suck your dick again." He leaned in, holding the base between two fingers as he started to suck on the head. Shinya groaned, but didn't protest, just continuing to work on himself, getting two fingers and then three inside. He let Kyo blow him until he felt like he was going to lose it again, pushing him away and moving back. "Get up."

Kyo did as he was told and he watched as Shinya carefully positioned himself on his stomach in the bunk, readjusting his dick so it wouldn't hurt to lie like that. "Get over here," he hissed out and Kyo didn't hesitate, getting himself situated behind the other, hunched over in the bunk as he tried to get them positioned correctly to do this. For a moment, he just gave up and rabidly humped at Shinya's ass, groaning at the pleasure of the friction. But he calmed down after a moment and started trying to get himself in the right place again, having to try several times before Shinya let him know he could just push all the way in.

He paused for a moment and then slowly sank in to the very hilt, his eyes closing as he strained over the other man. Inside was like intense heat and the grip of the other's body around him was like nothing else he'd ever experienced. Slowly, he moved, his dick sliding in and out of the other at an incredibly slow pace. It took him almost ten minutes before he was willing to just go for it. He sat up as much as he could, his hands on either side of Shinya as he started to hump him as quickly as was possible in the confined space. Skin slapped against skin and Shinya's moans quickened, his hips jerking a little bit to help Kyo and also provide himself friction against his dick.

Kyo lost it no more than a few minutes later, making his pleasure known to anyone close enough to hear as he continued to almost brutally fuck Shinya's tight passage as he filled the condom with his release. His hips shoved in hard and stilled. One arm moved to pull Shinya's lower half up a bit and the other moved to grab his dick. "You're going to fucking cum while I'm in you. I need to feel it," he growled out, his hand starting a quick pace on the other's dick.

Shinya wasn't far behind him, Kyo being that forceful with him having already put him on edge. He shivered and tensed, his breath catching as he lost it, spraying his spunk all over the bed sheets as he cried out in intense pleasure. Kyo groaned at the feeling of the already tight passage clamping down on him and then spasming. He shivered, milking the other until he was completely done and then slowly lowering him back to the sheets, pulling out and tying off the condom, discarding it to the side to deal with later. Lying back on top of him, he slid one arm around him and nuzzled at his shoulder a little, just closing his eyes and feeling.

Shinya didn't object and for that much, Kyo was glad. They remained that way for a few minutes until Shinya tentatively mentioned that the others wouldn't be that far behind them. Reluctantly Kyo pulled himself up and slipped out of the confines of the bunk, getting some of the wet wipes Nora insisted on keeping around and cleaning himself up and then offering them to Shinya to do the same.

Once they were fully dressed again and the stained sheets were removed and changed for the only set of fresh ones, they went to curl up on the small couch, flicking on the TV and trying hard to look like nothing had happened at all. Every once in a while, Kyo would flick a little glance over at Shinya and find the other already watching him.

By the time the others were on the bus and they were headed off to the next stop, Kyo had curled himself against Shinya's side and fallen asleep there, not really caring how it looked, just needing that contact after what they'd done with one another.

In Kyo's dreams, everything shifted ever so slightly, the harsh commands turning into loving words, and what had probably been a simple fuck between friends turning into an admission of feelings for one another. A soft smile graced his lips as he slept, his arms securely around Shinya's waist.

**The End**  



End file.
